He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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