What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
