shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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