Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
