i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
