didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
