I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
