Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize