Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
