Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
