Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Two words: blizzard sex
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
