he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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