I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
