I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
