if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
