normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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