physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
