Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He felt like a one man threesome
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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