Kiss
Puke
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
