Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
