He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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