Yo dont text me then not text me
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
