I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
