Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The feeling are messing with the penis
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
