FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
