for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
