turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
