Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
