oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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