she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
