the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
