how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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