hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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