i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
