Sry I called you an 8
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
