this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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