You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
