I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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