We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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