Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
