does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
