This is not my ceiling
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
