do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
