i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
