Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
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