i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
