That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
