i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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