I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
