I wannas sexs uuuuu
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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