He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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